Armchair Commentary

Our Valentine's Crushes

It's Valentine's Day (in case you haven't noticed), so I decided to have a little fun at the office. Asking our Movies & TV editors who their dream Valentine's Day date would be, I got some typical responses (Ryan Reynolds, Mila Kunis) and then some unexpected ones (Samuel L Jackson?!). See below and let us know...who is your dream Valentine? --Amanda

Michael Fassbender: This was called the “Year of Gosling,” but I think 2011 should be better known as the “Year of Fassbender.”  Whether he’s hunting down Nazis (for the 2^nd time!) and bringing some massive heat to Magneto, hiding a crazy arsonist wife in the walls of his castle as the hottest Rochester is history, treating hysteria and developing psychoanalysis as Carl Jung, or battling sex addiction (in plenty of shockingly un-sexy nude scenes), Fassbender is the new thinking-girl’s heartthrob.

 

 

 

 

Reese Witherspoon: "Legally Blonde", "Sweet Home Alabama", "Walk the Line"- even "Four Christmases"...seriously, what is she not cute in?

 

 

 

 

 

John Krasinski: The man I want in  my office not just on Valentine's Day, but every day of the year!

 

 

 

 

Samuel L Jackson: Stole my heart at a young age in "Pulp Fiction" and "Jackie Brown", solidified that love by owning the force in "Star Wars". If I had to be stuck on a plane with a bunch of snakes, I would definitely want him by my side.

 

 

Mila Kunis: I would be more than "Friends with Benefits" with Mila Kunis. I just love her dry, witty humor and fun personality. Oh yeah, and she is gorgeous.

 

 

 

 

 

Chris Hemsworth & Chris Evans: I would go to an amusement park with these super-hunks.  Thor would win me a giant stuffed bear by beating the strong man game, and Captain America can plow through the flocks of annoying park-goers with his super-shield—no lines!

 

 

 

 

James Franco in "The Broken Tower": In his directorial debut, James Franco plays tortured artist Hart Crane in The Broken Tower.  The hunky director-star can read me poetry for Valentine’s Day—or any day.

 

 

 

 

 

Zooey Deschanel: The New Girl can act, sing, and make me laugh! She is the ultimate catch.

 

Ryan Reynolds: After watching him in "The Proposal", I knew I wanted to be more than "Just Friends".

 

 

 

 

 

Rider Strong: If I could go back in time, my 11 yr-old self would LOVE a Valentine’s day date with Rider Strong.

 

 

 

 

 

Andrew Garfield: More than just “liked” him in "The Social Network"- I wouldn’t mind being more than just Facebook Friends!

 

 

 

 

 

Ryan Gosling: He is the sexiest politician and actually has a heart in "The Ides of March", I would happily get his coffee any day!

 

 

 

 

 

Emma Stone: Emma Stone would be the perfect Valentine because not only can she kick zombie butt, she could write about it and look hot the whole time.

 

 

 

 

 

Alexander Skarsgard/Eric Northam: I would be willing to spend all of eternity with Eric Northam even if it meant bartending at Fangtasia every night. If that can't happen, then I suppose one romantic date with Alexander Skarsgard will have to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rachel McAdams: Blonde, brunette, or pink- Rachel would be the ultimate Valentine. I would happily let her be a Mean Girl, read her the story of our life, or happily help her recover from a car accident induced coma.

Watch Mila Kunis Defend Justin Timberlake in Russian

The new obsession of mine is celebrities speaking in anything other than English, even if it's their native tongue. So that clip that circulated a while back of Bradley Cooper doing an interview in French was watched many times (is it just hard for us to believe that good-looking famous people can also be bilingual?).

After watching Friends With Benefits (which I wholly recommend), I saw this clip of a press conference in Moscow where Justin Timberlake is asked why he chose to do the movie (the context, according to People, is that he's asked why he chose movies in general). While he's still receiving the translation in his earpiece, co-star Mila Kunis (who was born in the Ukraine) sass the reporter with "Why? Why not? If he can do it, why shouldn't he? What kind of question is that? Why are you here?" to much laughter in the room. Watch below. --Ellen

And by the way here's that Bradley Cooper interview in French:

 

 

Andrew Garfield Melts Hearts at Comic-Con

If you haven't seen this clip circling yet, check out this little Comic-Con surprise prior to the "Spider-Man" panel, then watch Andrew Garfield, aka the new Spider-Man, get choked up at the honor of inheriting the webbed mantle. --Ellen

 

 

 

"Field of Dreams 2"? Say it Isn't So!

Put Taylor Lautner in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa during the NFL lockout, and you have Field of Dreams 2. At least according to this FunnyOrDie.com video (keep an eye out for some special cameos):

 

Field of Dreams 2: NFL Lockout with Taylor Lautner from Taylor Lautner

Happy Birthday, Johnny Depp

But what do you get the man who has everything on his 48th? After all, Depp does own his own island in the Bahamas. And his latest film, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, has earned over $790 million worldwide so far. That GAP gift card is just not going to do. Instead, let’s focus on what he’s given us. 

It all started with 21 Jump Street. Yes, he’d done roles in films prior to that, including Platoon, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and John Waters’ great little film Cry-Baby, but it was his 1987-1990 role as Officer Tom Hanson that made him a star. He, along with Holly Robinson, Peter DeLuise, and Dustin Nguyen, play undercover cops who pose as high school students to bust drug dealers, gang bangers, and other nefarious students. This series is pretty funny when you rewatch, especially a moment where DeLuise teaches Depp how to pronounce the word, “vato.” 

Depp didn’t take the easy Teen Beat route to stardom. He almost typically chooses the oddball role, and it’s where he does some of his most memorable work in films such as Edward Scissorhands, Benny & Joon, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Blow. 

One of his best oddballs is Plan 9 From Outer Space director Ed Wood in Tim Burton’s film of the same name. Depp is absolutely fearless as a cross-dressing filmmaker who’s convinced he’s making a masterpiece. Co-star Martin Landau, who plays Bela Legosi, won an Oscar for his role, proving that Depp is a generous co-star.

Leonardo DiCaprio found that out, too, when he co-starred as Depp’s mentally challenged younger brother in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Depp’s work in the film is among his best. His role isn’t as flashy as DiCaprio’s, but he holds the ensemble together, and makes the film feel real.  And he proves that he doesn’t need an eye patch or a funny accent to make a character work.

The same is true for Donnie Brasco, in which Depp plays an undercover FBI agent who infiltrates the mob. The 1997 film, which co-stars Al Pacino, is one of Depp’s underrated gems.  

OK, he’s made a lot of good films, but some of us have had our fill of the Pirates franchise. But there is hope. Depp stars in the upcoming The Rum Diary about a down-and-out reporter in the Caribbean (he just can’t get enough of the place). He’s also set to star in Martin Scorsese’s film Hugo Cabret and as the vampire Barnabas Collins in the big-screen version of Dark Shadows.

And one last tidbit for the 21 Jump Street fans, he even has a cameo in the upcoming 21 Jump Street film, which stars Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill. 

And that cameo is proof that, even with 50 on the horizon, Johnny Depp is an actor who never stops giving.

What is your favorite Johnny Depp film and what gift would you give him for his 48th birthday? -- Paige Newman

 

Happy 50th Birthday, George Clooney: His Five Best Roles

If Hollywood has a BMOC, it's the vintage throwback that is George Clooney. And he's 50 today (Happy Birthday!). He's the quintessential movie star: An actor who exemplifies what famous people should really be doing with their influence (not just his numerous humanitarian efforts, but throwing his support behind the small projects), but also one who's humbly embraced his long road to stardom (no one has brought up his failed turn as Batman as much as he has). Plus, the man can wear a suit.

To celebrate we're taking a look at his five best performances to date (Not in order).

1). Dr. Doug Ross, ER (1994-1999): As the womanizing pediatrician who couldn't keep his %$@! together enough NOT to chew out/punch bad parents and always defied the administration, Clooney's role wasn't a groundbreaking one, but he infused it with so much humor and charm and dislikability (remember when he brought in the epileptic woman who OD'd in his bathroom after a one-night stand, and he didn't know her name?). That he found his happy ending, including a one-episode return in ER's final season, makes his one of the most satisfying arcs of the show. His cameo in Julianna Margulies' final episode is one of the show's best moments.

2). Jack Foley, Out of Sight (1998): This box-office failure is the best movie Jennifer Lopez has ever been in, one of the best Steven Soderbergh has ever directed, and the movie that should have made Clooney a movie star (that never actually happened with one movie, it kind of crept up on you by the time Ocean's Eleven came out). It also houses two of the sexiest film scenes ever (one is a conversation in the trunk of a car, one a bar conversation that intercuts with a winking striptease). If you have not seen it, watch it now (it recently came out on Blu-ray). Do not pass Go.

3). Danny Ocean, Ocean's Eleven (2001) and sequels: Clooney's chemistry with Brad Pitt is even better here than his chemistry with Julia Roberts. There's not much to write about. Most people have seen this movie. Most people have loved this movie, and Clooney in it. He's sly, he's slick, he's funny, he wears a lot of nice suits. He showed it was possible to cram a bunch of big actors into an ensemble movie and make it both entertaining *and* good (not like, in the case of Valentine's Day). 'Nuff said.

4). Michael Clayton, Michael Clayton (2007): True story: As big of a George Clooney fan as I am, I wasn't all that interested in seeing him play a lawyer in a case that involved chemicals and class-action suits (I felt like I had seen this movie before, when it was called Erin Brockovich, or lesser so, A Civil Action). Then I was on a long plane ride with the option of this movie or Eastern Promises. These were not edited for airplane viewing, so the opening scene of the latter (throats getting cut in a barber shop) and the knowledge that a naked knife fight was coming while little kids would be walking past my seat to use the restroom was enough for me to decide to watch Michael Clayton instead. (OK that story was longer than I envisioned). Anyway, Clooney was fantastic in this movie, as a lawyer trusted not for his integrity but for the way he can quietly make loose ends go away. Until he decides that's not what he wants. His facial expressions over the closing credits say everything without a word.

5). Ryan Bingham, Up In the Air (2009): Even though his Oscar was for Syriana, I pick this role because it resonated much more (he's commended for Syriana, which was a more challenging and daring role, but the movie's overall quality doesn't match it). You could argue that he isn't doing anything different, he excels at playing Cads who Can't Commit Until They Meet The Right Woman, and this movie plays to his strengths rather than challenging him to tackle something else. And this movie appears that way, but ultimately it's a depressing movie. It's not scenery-chewing enough to get all the notice, but those nuances are what make Clooney's acting so great in this one. If I were Randy Jackson from American Idol, I would say, "Dude, what I love about you is that you know who you are as an artist. But you can still take something that's up your alley and still make it your own. This could have been a safe choice for you, but we got a hot one right here, dawg! GEORGE IS IN IT TO WIN IT!"

Check out our list of George Clooney Essential movies. What is your favorite Clooney role? --Ellen

Daniel's Dozen: Best, Worst Dressed Oscar Gowns 2011

Another year, another award. Oscar stood tall and proud in his shiny gold armor, but what about those actresses who so covet his cache? I feel like it was another better-safe-than-sorry year for this most glamorous of Hollywood nights on the red carpet, but I could be wrong. Your opinion?  Please share.

(Please click images to enlarge.)

Yes

Ah, youth! Nowhere is it more celebrated than in Hailee Steinfeld--from her beaded-pearl headband to her peep-toe pumps. Despite her brief 14 years, the teen shows true grit in her fashion choice of a lovely pink Marchesa ballet-skirt gown with lace overlay. Fred Leighton jewels and a Ferragamo clutch--what else does a teen need?

 

 

 

Ah, Anne. This strapless vintage Valentino clings nicely to the willowy star, with outsized rosettes anchoring generous gathers of red silk as they cascade to her feet. Anne Hathaway's best accessory of all, of course, is the designer himself. Viva Valentino! 

 

 

My, Mandy.  It's not hard to see the light in Mandy Moore's Monique Lhuillier gown. Silver spangles sparkle over nude tulle, accented only by the actress's red lipstick and Chopard button earrings.  What's so Tangled about that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mmm, Marisa. Her midnight-blue Charles James '50s frock was proclaimed "staggering" by style arbiter Tim Gunn, and I tend to agree. The bustier top paired with the flared tulle bottom was a perfect match for the singer-actress's lean figure and vintage Veronica Lake tresses.

 

 

 

 

 

Go, Gwynnie.  Although not usually a fan of the actress-cum-country-singer star, I begrudgingly give her credit for her stunning gold Calvin Klein column gown. Simple and elegant, it flatters her slim figure with its simple lines and plunging neck. She could do better than the paisley earrings, however.

 

 

 

Pro Portman. Though I got dinged for Natalie's red flower-nails-lips-shoes matchy-matchiness Viktor & Rolf ensemble at the Grammys, I stand firm in tonight's Rodarte violet chiffon emsemble. The Grecian pleats flatter this Swan's figure while complementing her olive complexion. The dangling purple earrings make this ensemble the "bee's knees," in the Best Actress's own words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

No

 As much as I tried to like Best Actress competitor Mila Kunis's Elie Saab gown, I found the lilac shade a bit old ladyish and staid. The lace peeplets poking out from her top reminded me of delicate hankies tucked into one's sleeve--"just in case"--something my mother would do. An odd choice for this up-and-coming starlet.

 

 

 

 

 

Did I call off the housekeepers this week?  No matter, Hilary Swank's couture Gucci gown could do a worthy swipe across my floors and furniture. The flighty confection is more feather duster than Oscar frock, so I'm not sure what the toothy star was thinking,

 

 

 

 

 

Amy Adams might be Fight-ing too hard in this L'wren Scott royal-blue sequined column dress. The high neck and cap sleeves are a bit conservative for evening wear, and the Cartier diamond-and-emerald necklace just seems to plop lifelessy over the neckline as an afterthought.

 

 

 Even more of a loser in the fashion Fight is Melissa Leo. Her white Marc Bouwer gown with its stand-up Mandarin collar looks like a craft-project faceoff between cut-out paper snowflakes and a crazed grandmother doily-maker. Who won? No one.

 

 

 

Oh, Cate. You were always so reliable, so elegant, so refined. Until now. This Givenchy gown with its harsh geometric sleeves and egg-yolk tentacle-like suckers represents a rare fashion misstep. What have we done to deserve this?

 

 

 

 

 

Scarlett Johansson languished like an overripe plum in this lace-overlay Dolce & Gabbana gown. The floral pattern and high neckline are more than a bit croney, and ScarJo's fried hair isn't helping matters any. Try again next year?



 

 

 

In my doled-out dozen I always allow room for a last-minute People's Choice Award (with the people being me, of course). I don't know how I missed her on the red-carpet coverage, but I would be remiss if I didn't call out Dame Helen Mirren. Enchanting in charcoal duchess silk-satin, the star charmed in this Vivienne Westwood design that featured princess-puff three-quarter sleeves and a square neckline, the perfect showcase for her Cartier jewels and lovely face. Monochromatic Mirren matched right down to her Ferragamo clutch and gray-lacquered fingernails. Once again, well done, Helen, well done!

Sigh, another rumpled bow tie, another smudged glass of flat Champagne. Comment? Please do.

--Daniel

Oscar Wrap-Up: Best & Worst Moments

I'm not sure what it says when one of the highlights of the evening was in Autotune (more on that later). I give the Academy credit for trying new things, but let's face it--not many of them worked. As hosts, James Franco was barely with a pulse, while a more-game Anne Hathaway pulled out her most winning tricks but came off more as a cheerleader at a pep rally. As for the winners themselves, the Academy went the predictable route and honored The King's Speech with Best Picture; the only surprise was that a predicted split that would have given David Fincher the Best Director win for The Social Network didn't happen (King's Speech helmer Tom Hooper won). The Social Network did wind up with the same number of statues early in the evening, signaling it could possibly pull it out for Best Picture at the end, but with Hooper's win it was clear where the evening was headed.

You can see the full list of Oscar winners here, and shop past winners at Oscar Central. Meanwhile, here's the rundown of best and worst moments.

BEST
Whoever decided to bring in Kirk Douglas made the right call. Watching him lasciviously flirt with Anne Hathaway and delay announcing the winner of the Best Supporting Actress award as long as possible? A strong start to the show.

Melissa Leo's accidental F-bomb, and her horrified look afterwards.

The Best Art Direction winner from Alice in Wonderland who had brought up a teeny red Mad Hatter wig specially fit for his Oscar.

Therapeutic jabs at past indescretions seemed to be the theme of the night, as Christian Bale addressed his famous viral rant and Robert Downey Jr. mentioned his drug-imbibed arrest in the '90s. (Charlie Sheen, unfortunately, wasn't around to poke fun at himself.)

The auto-tuned "movie musical" montage, particularly "He Doesn't Own a Shirt" by "Edward Cullen." A little too close to MTV Movie Awards territory, but a nice laugh to break up some of the monotony.

Anne Hathaway's fringe dress shimmy.
 
The montage of Best Picture nominees at the close of the evening, set to the King George address at the climax of The King's Speech. It seemed heavily weighted to that film winning Best Picture, but powerful nonetheless.

Chuck sings! The surprise of seeing Zachary Levi duet with Mandy Moore on their nominated song from Tangled. (Hey, he was pretty good too!)

Sandra Bullock and Robert Downey Jr. = My nominees for next year's hosts. (Though really, one should never use the wittiest presenters for hosts. It's like taking a clever Saturday Night Live sketch and turning into a feature-length movie; stretching out the funny that long never works.)

Luke Matheny, winner for Best Live-Action Short, who thanked his mother for providing craft services for the film and lamented that he "should've gotten a haircut."

Helen Mirren speaking French and Russell Brand "translating." This is the only time I have ever found Russell Brand to be funny.

The entirety of Colin Firth's speech. Firth has been the gold standard for acceptance speeches this awards season; they were all equally witty, humble, gracious, totally different, and without a piece of paper. He should totally win more often.

NEITHER HERE NOR THERE
The opener, in which our hosts inserted themselves in other Oscar nominated films (with the help of Alec Baldwin). It was clever until they showed up in Back to the Future and ended flat. (Someone in the writer's room overslept and ran out of time to complete this idea.)

The return of Billy Crystal was a welcome one, but that strange hologram of Bob Hope was both creepy and unnecessary.

What is the purpose of having a presenter present another presenter? (i.e. Hilary Swank introducing presenter Kathryn Bigelow?) Do they think Bigelow isn't a big enough name to just walk out there?


The idea to dress Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem up as matching maitre d's.

WORST
The very awkward look at past Best Picture winners when presenting the technical categories. It's as if to say, "It's important to win Best Makeup, because then you have a good shot at winning Best Picture!" Cut to... The Wolfman.

The random set pieces for past Oscar moments, which made you feel like you were at EPCOT center. Natalie Portman and Colin Firth accepted their Oscars in front of a set piece of the Mann Chinese Theater. I'm surprised they didn't just have a slab of wet concrete hanging around nearby, ready for their handprints.

Anne Hathaway whooping into the mic after introducing every presenter, gushing over anyone and everyone, and eagerly high-fiving everyone on stage after it was over. Girlfriend, this ain't Saturday Night Live.

I had to rewind to make sure, but this is the first "pitting out" instance I've ever seen on the Oscars telecast. Shame on Susanna Bier's publicist.

Christian Bale pushing dickeklund.com during his acceptance speech.

This moment.

QUOTES OF THE NIGHT

"If it weren't for [the visual effects team], your closest association with a superhero would have been in 2001, when you got busted in a cheap hotel with a woman dressed as Batgirl." --Jude Law to Robert Downey Jr.

"You are the reason children are being picked up late from school, because their mothers are watching you on General Hospital." --Sandra Bullock to James Franco

"Roxie Sorkin, your father just won an Academy Award. I'm going to have to insist on some respect from your guinea pig." -- Aaron Sorkin

"I'm Banksy." --Justin Timberlake, about the elusive subject of Best Documentary nominee Exit to the Gift Shop

"You are very appealing to a younger demographic as well." -- Anne Hathaway, to James Franco as co-host

"My father always told me I would be a late bloomer." -- David Seidler (The King's Speech), the oldest recipient of the Original Screenplay award

"I have a feeling my career just peaked." --Colin Firth, winner for Best Actor

"That's gross." -- Presenter Cate Blanchett, after a clip from Best Makeup winner The Wolfman

"Shorts are the hardest category to predict on your home Oscar ballot." -- Presenter Jake Gyllenhaal

"I'm not gonna drop the F-bomb like Melissa did; I've done that plenty before." -- Best Supporting Actor winner Christian Bale, referring to his famous on-set tirade posted (and remixed) on YouTube

"The moral of the story is: Listen to your mother." -- Best Director winner Tom Hooper, who credits his mother on finding the source material for The King's Speech

What did you think were the highs and lows of this year's Oscars? --Ellen

Separated At Birth?

Just watched the Grammy Awards. Guess the actors are taking over, what with Gwyneth Paltrow singing with Cee-Lo and Johnny Depp performing with Keith Urban and Norah Jones.... no wait, that's not Johnny Depp.

 

 

 

 

Pssst, it's John Mayer! --Ellen

Watch Natalie Portman's Nerdy Laugh Remix

Anyone else realize during the Golden Globes that Natalie Portman, as graceful and beautiful as she is, has one mongo guffaw? It's one of those unexpected honks you expect more from someone who... well, doesn't look like Natalie Portman. Collegehumor.com has devised a clever way to enjoy the moment. --Ellen