2011 68th Annual Golden Globes: Glam or Glum
Welcome to the red-carpet writeup for this year’s Golden Globes awards ceremony, brought to you by the Hollywood Foreign Press and by, well, me. Unlike some of the off-color onstage quips I heard this evening, I’ve decided to keep my commentary rated G—rated G for Glam or G for Glum. Do you aGree? Or not? Please tell.
On this most glittering of nights, there was no shortage of glamour here. A smattering of the glam:
Natalie Portman: The pint (and a half!)-sized Portman blossomed in a form-flattering pale-pink empire-waist gown, complete with red-sequined appliqué rose, from Dutch dream team Viktor and Rolf. The diminutive star scores extra points for matching Stella McCartney heels. Maternity never looked so marvelous.
Michelle Williams: Her daisy-dotted dress is simply adorable. A Valentino victory, the rosette straps, op-art floral print, and fluttery chiffon sides--paired with Michelle’s winsome pixie ‘do--make for free-spirited fun. Even if it is beige.
Olivia Wilde: Mmm, chocolate. Rich, dark, and satisfying, this spangled tulle confection sparkles in deep chocolatey hues. More like something from Willy Wonka’s production line than a hand-stitched Marchesa creation, the full skirt flirtfully floated, bobbed, and winked its way through the ceremony.
January Jones: Only one word comes to mind, if it’s even a word: Fringe-tastic! This custom-made Versace fits her like a glove, from the structured V-shaped bodice to the clingy fringed gown, all flawlessly executed in fire-engine red. January’s smooth blonde Veronica Lake hairstyle adds cool elegance but does nothing to put out the fire.
Helen Mirren: The dame puts the gold in Golden Globes this year in a stunning Badgley-Mischka gown. The shirred, Fortuny-like bodice capped with sheer gold- and silver-encrusted sleeves drops down to a shimmery skirt. With matching satin Ferragamo clutch and Cartier diamonds, this golden-aged actress radiates 24k confidence and charm.
Now for the glum. Billed as Hollywood’s “prom night,” this Golden Globes event rather surprised me by the number of boring all-black ensembles. Those of you fortunate to know me in person are well aware that I am no stranger to the darksome shade myself. I just thought the Globes was an excuse to be more festive. In addition to the goth girls—Annette, Halle, Julianna, Jane (who should be more Glee-ful), I cite the following as glum:
Helena Bonham-Carter: The abstract print and random black tulle attachment on this Vivienne Westwood can’t possibly compete with the predictable trying-too-hard-to-be-kooky mismatched shoes. So why bother? Maybe Helena and fellow Brit Tilda Swinton should have compared notes on being wacky beforehand.
Eva Longoria: The simple American Apparel T-shirt-style bodice doesn’t quite mesh with the sweeping skirt of this Zac Posen creation. The squiggle diamonds at her waist aren’t helping matters any either. Her onstage stumble confirms that this is indeed a fashion misstep.
Amy Adams: A Fight of a different type--this one between the actress and the laser-cut lace butterfly that landed on her deep teal Marchesa gown. My bet is that Amy lost. Watching her throughout the evening, I could see that the butterfly--or whatever this adornment is--impeded her basic functions, like eating and drinking.
Julianne Moore: While I realize bubble-gum pink is hardly indicative of glum, Julianne’s saggy, misshapen single silk sleeve is rather sad. It depresses me just looking at it. I don’t even care that it comes from Lanvin. It's just … sad.
Glam and Glum
Golden Globes boys can be both glam and glum as well:
Robert Downey Jr. Glam! In a rebellious twist on the typical black-tie dress code, a dapper RDJ rocks a shiny charcoal-gray Prada suit with a roguish red tie. A precursor to the roguish and randy tales he told on stage, I suppose, but you didn’t hear that from me.
Christian Bale. Glum! Is he Fight-ing with his wife for Actor with the Best Jesus Hair Award? His all-black attire (suit, shirt, and tie) and lank, shoulder-length hair make him a clear winner in that arena (in addition to his other award).
Last, after a couple glasses of pinot grigio and a handful of white-cheddar popcorn—my version of movie food—I have a few random G-notes:
G is for:
Granny. I spotted at least three spangled chiffon capelets worn over otherwise attractive and flattering frocks. Sandra Bullock, Scarlett Johansson, and Jennifer Lopez looked more grandmother-of-the-bride than award presenter. And Sandra—I’d rethink the blunt bangs.
Grandiosity. Temple lives up to the Grand in her name tonight. The inspirational author’s sequin-emblazoned shirt raises her signature Western-wear to a whole new level. I love Temple's take on black tie, even if it's white tie (or kerchief, in this case).
Gummy. Does everyone in Hollywood have to chew gum? Even at an awards ceremony? Really? As the cameras panned the crowd, I was a little galled at all the chomping and jawing. My mother would have told everyone to quit chopskitching (look it up).
And they would have.
Respond at will. --Daniel