Armchair Commentary

Rock-Em Sock-Em: 10 Tough Movie Robots Before "Real Steel"

Sure, robots in the movies can be helpful, like C-3P0 or Robby the Robot, or coldly malevolent, like the Daleks. But can they take a punch? That question is answered in Real Steel, a science fiction-action hybrid opening October 7 with Hugh Jackman as a washed-up pug turned promoter of a robot boxer. Based on Richard Matheson's short story "Steel" (which which was previously adapted for the fifth season of The Twilight Zone in 1963),Real Steel reminds us that several memorable movie robots have brought the brawn along with the binary code in prior years.

For the purposes of this list, we're expanding the defintion of the word "robot" to include androids (machines designed to resemble humans) and cyborgs (robots with both biological and mechanical elements). We're also limiting our list to cinematic robots, so you won't find Cylons, Cybermen or the Six Million Dollar Man here (that's another list altogether).

In chronological order:

- Gort, The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) Actor Lock Martin, who stood at 7' 1" (though other sources say 7'7") left his job as the doorman at Grauman's Chinese Theater to play the 8-foot mechanical enforcer for alien visitor Klaatu (Michael Rennie) in Robert Wise's science fiction classic. When a trigger-happy GI accidentally wings Klaatu during his impromptu visit to Washington, D.C., Gort impassionately disintegrates the military's might, and nearly comes close to wiping out humanity as a whole until Patricia Neal utters the enduring phrase "Klaatu barada nikto." 

Gear Jammers and Night Riders: 10 Great Car Chase Movies Before "Drive"

With its blend of high-octane car action and an indie-friendly cast that includes Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Albert Brooks, Bryan Cranston and Ron Perlman, the thriller Drive, which opens September 16, appears to pay homage to the great auto-oriented action and suspense films of the 1970s, where top actors like Steve McQueen, Gene Hackman and Peter Fonda vented their frustration over the decade's turmoil from behind the wheel of some heavy-duty horsepower. No Michael Bay histrionics or Fast and Furious drift here - just four wheels, an open road and plenty of attitude.

Following are some of the best and most ballsy car chase films from that decade, as well as a few from the 1980s and 1990s that took their MPH to heart.

Bullitt (1968) Steve McQueen's Inspector Frank Bullitt and his '68 V8 Ford Mustang are pursued by a 440 Dodge Charger through San Francisco's highly vertical Mission District in the landmark 9-minute chase scene from Peter Yates' police thriller. McQueen did about 10% of his own driving in the film, leaving the rest to veteran stunt drivers Bud Ekins (who executed McQueen's barbed wire fence jump in The Great Escape, 1963) and McQueen's usual stunt double, Loren James. The Bullitt Mustang was revived by Ford in 2008 to celebrate the film's 40th anniversary.

The French Connection (1971) Gene Hackman's tough cop Popeye Doyle pits his 1971 Pontiac Le Mans against New York's BMT West Line train in a frenzied attempt to stop hitman Marcel Bozzuffi after a botched attempt on Doyle's life. An astonishing display of cinematic bravura, director William Friedkin puts the viewer in the driver's seat (well, the back seat, where he shot over stunt driver Bill Hickman's shoulder while wrapped in a mattress for protection) or on the Pontiac's front bumper to provide one of the movies' greatest adrenaline rushes.

The Icky Shuffle: Contagion Movies

Gesundheit. With Steven Soderbergh’s brilliantly clinical, scarily plausible all-star disaster movie Contagion hitting screens, here’s a few notable films which also explore the fertile topic of quarantines and near-invisible invaders. Does … does anybody else feel warm?

Panic in the Streets (1950) Q: What’s scarier than having an unknowing carrier of bubonic plague on the loose in New Orleans? A: When said carrier is played by a huffing, puffing Jack Palance. Elia Kazan’s heavily expressionistic film noir (which features Richard Widmark in a too-rare heroic role) piles on the paranoia, especially when zooming in on the increasingly manic Palance, spreading potential death with every musk-ox exhalation.

Shivers (1976) There’s a fear of infection at work in most horror stories (Vampires, check; Werewolves, check; Zombies, big time check). While George A. Romero’s Dead saga, the 28 Days Later series, and The Stand all have their considerable virtues, no filmmaker has ever played with the idea as boldly as David Cronenberg, whose first two movies are brilliantly grody metaphors about catching a bug.  Shot entirely in a claustrophobic high rise, Shivers follows the outbreak of a group of horrid slug-things whose bite releases the inner deviant in their victims. Working on an extremely low budget, Cronenberg takes the concept of viral horror and absolutely runs with it, leaving no queasy stone unturned.  (To quote Stephen King from his awed appreciation in Danse Macabre, “[the film] is about sexual promiscuity on one level; on another level it’s asking you how you’d like to have a leech jump out of a letter slot and latch itself onto your face. These are not the same levels of unease at all.”) Nowhere is the film more effective than in its bizarre finale, which somehow plays as both worst case scenario and happy ending. 1977’s follow-up Rabid, in which Marilyn Chambers develops a communicable hankering for human blood following an experimental surgery, is a slightly more conventional movie, although the director still goes to degrees where few others dare to tread. After watching a surgeon start foaming at the mouth in mid-operation, never leaving the house again feels like a valid option.

Carriers (2009) A small group of survivors attempt to outdrive a widening plague zone, in this surprisingly vital, unstintingly tough-minded end of the world virus movie, with a pre-Trek Chris Pine unafraid to ugly it up in the lead role. The lack of funds occasionally shows, but in its unpretentious B-movie miserablism, it works like gangbusters.

Black Death (2011) In which a bunch of church-commissioned Medieval witch hunters (led by Sean Bean) stumble across a community mysteriously free of the plague. A cult movie in the making, director Christopher Smith’s fantastically atmospheric film explores the horrors of unexplained sickness, as well as the extreme steps taken by some to escape the taint.

Outbreak (1995) Released during the height of Ebola fears, Wolfgang Petersen’s mild yet effective monkey virus thriller manages to hit some of the same nerves that Contagion pings so expertly. The novelty of Dustin Hoffman as an action hero aside, this makes the list mainly for the awesomely overt scene where the plague is first spread … in a movie theater. William Castle would have given a high-five.

So, what movies make you reach for the Purell? --Andrew Wright

 

Can't Recall Being this Totally Excited

For a lot of guys in my age bracket Paul Verhoeven's Total Recall is a seminal movie. If you were an Arnold (pronounced Aahh-nuld) fan (go ahead and admit it, it was a different time), Total Recall was the zenith of his awesomeness. And my dad took me to see it when I was too young for an R rated movie. It came after Commando, Predator, The Running Man & Twins. It was the right movie at the right time for any action/adventure loving movie goer. Total Recall was full of humor, memorable quotes and for the era, great sci-fi design and special effects. It seemed like such a BIG movie and for at least this one movie geek, it would became one of the most referenced films ever.

So now, of course, the upcoming "re-imagining" Total Recall (2012) directed by Len Wiseman (of Underworld fame) is making me feel like a kid again. Scanning the google looking for updates or new photos, hoping for an Arnold cameo, anything to feed my excitement. Anyways.....this time around we've got Colin Farrell in the Arnie role. Which, I can get on board with. He's versatile and sometimes brilliant as is evident in the far too unwatched In Bruges. Then the cast really gets good. Kate Beckinsale in the Sharon Stone role, AWESOME! Jessica Biel as Melina, SWEET!! And to top it all off Bryan Cranston as Cohagen. AWESOMELY SWEET!!! Oh wait, as if that wasn't good enough, how bout' they throw in a little Bill Nighy, John Cho and some Ethan Hawke. MIND BLOWN!! One more bonus, Shia LaBeouf is not in it. Just a powerhouse group! What's next, Robocop with Daniel Craig? We can dream.

It's OK if you're smiling right now thinking of some mindless action fun. Let yourself go back to that place when you were younger and going to the movies was so much more exciting. We didn't need no stinkin' 3D! We just needed absurd fight scenes and enough of the F word to make us feel a little bit dangerous while we watched. Thanks Paul Verhoeven, thanks Arnie and now thank you Len Wiseman and Columbia Pictures for bringing back this classic. Yeah, I said it, c-l-a-s-s-i-c.

The Best Movies & TV of 2011 So Far

In picking our Best of 2011 So Far list, we took everything that released between January 1 and August 15 of this year, put the names in a jar, shook it, and wrote down whatever pieces came out at random.

Just kidding. But we DID get in a room and debate the merits of a great movie in a mediocre Blu-ray release vs. a mediocre movie with a spectacular Blu-ray release; how to compare a great movie that released this year vs. the re-release of a classic movie; and the comedic chops of one Russell Brand (be assured, this did not derail our conversation too much). Without further ado, here's a look at our editors' picks on DVD, Blu-ray, and Instant Video.

Top 10 on DVD
1. The Social Network
2. The King's Speech
3. Mad Men: Season Four
4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I
5. True Grit
6. Black Swan
7. The Fighter
8. Tangled
9. The Walking Dead: Season One
10. True Blood: The Complete Third Season
>See the rest of the top 50 on DVD

Top 10 on Blu-ray
1. The Lord of the Rings: The Motion Picture Trilogy (Extended Edition + Digital Copy) [Blu-ray]
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part I
3. The Social Network
4. Black Swan
5. True Blood: The Complete Third Season
6. Tangled
7. The Fighter
8. Raging Bull (Two-Disc 30th Anniversary Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
9. The Incredibles (Four-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy)
10. The Walking Dead: Season One
>See the rest of the top 50 on Blu-ray

Top 10 on Instant Video
1. Black Swan
2. Biutiful
3. Dexter: Season Five
4. Waiting for Superman
5. Justified: Season Two
6. The King's Speech
7. Tangled
8. The Fighter
9. The Killing
10. The Walking Dead: Season One

What are your picks for the Best of the Year So Far? --Ellen

Nicolas Cage vs. Nic Cage

  VS   

Dear Nicolas Cage,

What happened? Where did it all go wrong? When did you go from a sometimes brilliant actor who chose quirky and original scripts to the guy that starred in The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans? (Side note - one of the worst titles ever thought of) It's a rare feat for someone capable of onscreen gold like Raising Arizona and Moonstruck, to almost completely derail their own legitimacy and relevance in the lexicon of popular film, by their own hand.

Sure, there are occasional blips on the radar that still give us hope like your super hero potrayal in Kick-Ass but the past decade has been a whole lot more unwatchable than it has been inspiring. Have you yourself been subject to some sort of mind altering occurence that has split you into some sort of Jekyll and Hyde character? Is there a epic, bloody battle for dominance being waged inside your soul  that has spanned the last 25 years? That's what I'd like to think, that there are truly two of you. One, Nicolas Cage, the man who made us laugh in Honeymoon in Vegas and broke our hearts Leaving Las Vegas and then, Nic Cage, the evil side vying for supremacy over your soul and obviously......winning. He who is responsible for Drive Angry and Bangkok Dangerous. Please stop him. Please. If I had to divide your filmograhy up into good and bad, I'd be willing to give you Faceoff, Conair, heck, I'm even throwing in The Weather Man and The Family Man, cause I'm a sucker. But The Wicker Man, Ghost Rider, Windtalker? Come on!!!! Maybe you should have kept your name Coppola. Perhaps that would have allowed you to make better choices.

Sorry, I got a bit angry but it's only because I love ya man. You can be so great, so fun to watch. So come back to us Nicolas. Take pleasure in guttin' that other side of you, the evil Nic. You used to be like....unbeatable.

Sincerely,

A confused fan.....kind of...but not really anymore

P.S. Is it too late to stop the inevitablility of the Ghost Rider sequel? Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengenance, really?

Harrison Ford vs. Papa Smurf

Cowboys and Aliens may have won the weekend box office, but it was a photo finish: Sunday's estimates had it tied with The Smurfs for the top spot. In the end, Cowboys eked out the win with $36.4 million over the Smurfs' $35.6 million, and Cowboys star Harrison Ford had something to say about the little blue people on Conan this evening. --Ellen

 

Andrew Garfield Melts Hearts at Comic-Con

If you haven't seen this clip circling yet, check out this little Comic-Con surprise prior to the "Spider-Man" panel, then watch Andrew Garfield, aka the new Spider-Man, get choked up at the honor of inheriting the webbed mantle. --Ellen

 

 

 

Trailer Park: "Contagion," "The Thing," "John Carter"

While the internet breathlessly waits for a legit version of The Dark Knight Rises teaser (in which, according to reports, Tom Hardy’s back can briefly be glimpsed), a number of other intriguing trailers have made a pre-Comicon appearance. Start planning your sick days now.

Contagion (dir. by Steven Soderbergh): As distinctly '70s as the Pet Rock or Stretch Armstrong, the disaster movie cycle derived no small amount of guiltless fun from an iron-clad formula: Large-scale bloodless apocalypse at the end of the first reel, followed by a series of over-the-hill, easily recognizable actors biting it in increasingly baroque fashion. (Personal favorite: Henry Fonda shooting himself up with giant killer bee venom—in the name of science!—in The Swarm.) Steven Soderbergh’s all-star viral thriller, however, looks like it veers far, far away from Irwin Allen’s turf, with the cheesy fun of watching, say, Robert Wagner turning into a tux-clad fajita replaced by powerhouse acting and a no-nonsense attitude. While spoiler-hounds may get up in arms about the revealed fates of some of the actors in this trailer, it’s not looking like anyone gets away clean here. (September 9th)

 

The Thing (dir. by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.): Horror fans, meanwhile, can be forgiven for feeling a little queasy about the existence of this prequel to John Carpenter’s 1981 somberly gloppy classic, which focuses on the events at an alien-infested Norwegian camp before Kurt Russell and his massive sombrero make the scene. Thankfully, this trailer looks like the filmmakers have made a genuine effort to replicate Carpenter’s doomy vibe (dig the Ennio Morricone soundtrack lift at the end), while sticking to the practical effects that made the original such a splatter milestone. (That said, the subtle CGI bit involving a guy’s face definitely works.) Keep watching the skies. (October 14th)

 

John Carter (dir. by Andrew Stanton): The first live-action film from Pixar Grand Poobah Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo, WALL-E) is an adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ pulp milestone A Princess of Mars. Not that you’d be able to guess the Mars part from this rather opaque trailer, though, which tones down the material’s more baroque elements-–shouldn’t the sand be colored red, at least?--in favor of Conan-style throwdowns.  Still, the director’s track record and the presence of a ridiculously talented supporting cast (including Bryan Cranston, Willem Dafoe, and Samantha Morton) suggest that there may be more magic here than meets the eye. And, hey, how about that song, huh? (March 9th, 2012)

 

 

2011 Summer Television: What We're Looking Forward To

It's summer, and you know what that means: a slew of new shows premiering or returning for another season. While Falling Skies, which started June 19 on TNT, has us intrigued, it's no Lost (and really, no show ever will be, so we should probably stop the unfair comparisons). Still, summer is no longer the dearth of television it used to be, and that's mostly thanks to the cable and premium channels. It's easy to include the obvious fan faves, like True Blood and Weeds, so we're trying to branch out … at least a little. Some shows are just too good to leave off, no matter how obvious their inclusion. The below list is by no means everything the summer has to offer, but they're the shows we're the most excited about.

 

White Collar

We know, we know, the new season started already, but Neal Caffrey (Matt Bomer) charmed us with those eyes and that smile and we were helpless against both. Are the cases easy to predict? Yes. You know going in that the “good” guys almost always win and the “bad” guys are going to get what's coming. But it's as refreshing as a cold glass of lemonade after mowing the lawn. Plus, the relationship between Caffrey and his FBI handler Peter Burke (Tim DeKay)--neither completely trusts the other--is a delight to watch. Throw in paranoid accomplice Mozzi (Willie Garson) and Neil's new love interest, Sara, and we're ready to commit a white collar crime ourselves, just in case they're assigned our case. Returned June 7 on USA.

 

Burn Notice

Grab a yogurt and get ready for something we've not yet seen. Über spy Michael Weston (Jeffrey Donovan) is not just back, he's back in bed with the CIA. Or is he? Granted he's not a full agent again, merely an “asset,” but after all those years trying to get back at the people who burned him, can he pretend it never happened? Or is he still out for revenge? Only time and the rest of the season will tell, but with Fiona (Gabrielle Anwar) and Sam (Bruce Campbell) on his side, we know he'll be well-armed and well-beered as he out-MacGyver's, well, MacGyver. Returned June 23 on USA.

 

 

Leverage

Nate Ford (Timothy Hutton) & Co are back on the job, helping the wronged and doing what they can to stick it to the man or company responsible. By now, we know that the heart-of-gold criminals will prevail, with a number of Ocean's 11-style misdirections. For all that, though, it is pure fun watching it happen and trying to figure out just how they'll dupe the baddie of the week. And while yes, Hardison (Aldis Hodge) and Eliot (Christian Kane) will spar ("Dammit, Hardison!"), Parker (Beth Riesgraf) will awkwardly learn some aspect of humanity, Sophie (Gina Bellman) will use an accent, and Eliot will hit someone … we want it that way. Predictable or not, we're totally along for the con. Returned June 26 on TNT.

 

Necessary Roughness

This new series introduces us to Dani Santino (Callie Thorne), a woman trying to start her life over after she discovers her husband is cheating on her. As she delves into work, she becomes the go-to therapist for a number of high profile clients, including athletes, politicians, and entertainers. The previews have us intrigued, (and it also stars Buffy alum Marc Blucas, so there's that reason to tune in!) but we hope it doesn't become a troubled “famous person” of the week show. Let's see her putting her life back together, failing, trying again. And with two teenagers in the mix, there's definite promise for some fallbacks. Premiered June 29 on USA.

 

The Closer

Brenda Leigh Johnson (Kyra Sedgwick) takes on ten more cases this summer as head of the Major Crimes department. While the crimes were far from the stars of the show–often easy to solve or borderline ridiculous–the ensemble cast was a pleasure to watch, especially led by the talented Sedgewick. The tough-as-nails female police officer/detective/lieutenant is a familiar television trope, but Brenda wore it with a side of Southern charm, and most suspects never knew which was coming into that interrogation room. One of cable’s highest-rated dramas, this is the show's last season. Sort of. Next year, it will continue on without Sedgwick, as a spinoff called Major Crimes starring Mary McDonnell. Returns July 11 on TNT.

 

Eureka

Okay, we admit to a (loud and prolonged) fangirl squee we heard geekdom fave Felicia Day (Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and The Guild) was arriving in the genius town for a seven-episode arc. Notjust that, but her Department of Defense character will be involved in a possible love triangle with Fargo (Neil Grayston) and guest star Wil Wheaton, of Star Trek: TNG fame. Um, super squeee! Now in its 4.5th season, it's a safe bet that everyman Sheriff Carter (Colin Ferguson) will make an off-handed comment or ask a stupid question and save the town from some crazy experiment gone awry, but the scientific hijinks are almost beside the point. The quirky collection of characters are the heart of this show. Returned July 11 on the SyFy Channel.

 

Warehouse 13

What started as a total guilty pleasure show for us has grown into a smart bit of pure summer fluff, and way more fun than the Income Tax Return Forms building the warehouse masquerades as. Last season, agent Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly) walked out the door. Our fingers are crossed she returns–and mum's the word on if that's a yes or no–but Smallville's Aaron Ashmore is joining the team as a new agent, Steve Jinks. He'll join forces with agent Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock) and Artie Neilsen (Saul Rubinek) as they secretly try to keep seemingly ordinary objects--Mata Hari's stockings, Babe Ruth's bat--from wreaking havoc on the civilian population. Returned July 11 on the SyFy Channel.

 

Alphas

Whew! July 11 is a busy night for the SyFy Channel … joining the previously mentioned Eureka and W13, this new show sounds like part Heros (hopefully season one) and part No Ordinary Family. Starring Emmy® Award winner David Strathairn as Dr. Lee Rosen, a group of five genetically superior people are brought together by the Department of Defense to investigate cases that might point to others with special powers. It has promise, but shows like this haven't always fared so well. That said, it's not on one of the basic network channels, so maybe there's hope for it. Our fingers are certainly crossed. Premiered July 11 on the SyFy Channel.

 

Rescue Me

An obvious selection, perhaps, but since this is the final season, we were afraid leaving it off would give us a serious case of heartburn. Firefighter Tommy Gavin (Denis Leary) has battled more than just fires in the show's seven seasons, and the question now becomes will he redeem himself? And do we, as viewers, want things tied up with a ribbon when the series bows out (appropriately around the 10th anniversary of September 11)? Returns July 13 on FX.

 

Breaking Bad

This is another obvious one, yes, but for good reason. It's one of the best shows on television. Period. And if you don't believe us, stars Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul are both Emmy® Award winners, Cranston for three consecutive years. Awards aside, the unlikely drug-lord duo find themselves in even deeper at the beginning of the season--no surprise there, though the end of last season was a shocker! Oh Walter! Oh Jesse!--with Jesse most likely on the run and Walter's fate unsure. Returns July 17 on AMC.

 

We're also looking forward to these summer shows, though they'll probably build up on the DVR before we get around to them. Of course, that means one thing: lazy summer day marathon!

Memphis Beat: Another police procedural, true (it seems summer television is rife with cops and lawyers), but at least this one isn't set in Los Angeles or NYC. And Jason Lee is thoroughly enjoyable as Elvis-loving, guitar-playing MPD detective Dwight Hendricks. Returned June 14 on TNT.

Suits: We want to like this new show, but admit that smarter-than-anyone Mike (Patrick J. Adams) might get a tad too know-it-all for us. But Firefly alum Gina Torres, even in a small, supporting role, will keep us tuning in for now. Premiered June 23 on USA.

Rizzoli and Isles: A generally enjoyable tough female cop-fashinonista female coroner buddy show, it doesn't pop with anything especially new. Yet we can't take it off of our season pass list. Chalk-line it up to the chemistry between Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander. Returned July 11 on TNT.

 

Which shows are you most looking forward to this summer? -- Jill Corddry